Poof! Proofs!

If I could go on Facebook right now, my status would say "Angela wishes that her Analysis proofs would poof! magically appear."

We have a take-home exam due mid-next week. I started it last night, got 1/3 of it done, I'm glad to say :) Well, it's actually 2 parts of the one 4-part problem on there, so I don't actually have a whole problem done, but if I think of the whole exam as having 6 total parts, I'm 1/3 done. Which just sounds better and makes me feel better about myself, haha. So I left my desk last night feeling semi-accomplished, but still was unable to sleep for a good while after I went to bed b/c my mind just kept ticking, wanting to get another part done (then I could say my exam is 1/2 done.. half! That just sounds so nice, doesn't it?). Alas, I am now sad to say that I have been at my desk again today for several hours now, and my further attempts at progress have seen to no avail. :( 

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Mwahaha! I am now ecstatic to report that I got one more problem done (after roughly 6 hours of arduous thinking)! I even typed it up, reread it, and rewrote the gist of the proof just to be sure I understood it and was overlooking something. I feel pretty good about it, to be honest. I won't claim that it's absolutely perfect, but if there is something lacking, I'm pretty confident that it'd have to be something pretty minor, b/c I checked everything I could think of. I went through the whole gist again just to be super thorough. And I think I'm good. So I am now allowed to say I have half the Analysis take-home midterm done! (Lol, just goes to show how hard this math is, completing one problem (AND having confidence in its correctness and completeness!) is a MAJOR accomplishment.) At just ten minutes shy of midnight, I will now hit the hay and hope that with these invigorating sense of accomplishment, I'll be able to get a good's night sleep without running through the other as yet incomplete exam problems in my mind. :)
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Analysis is hard, hard stuff. At least to me. And a good number of others in my class that I could name. I could never say that I hate math (nor am I in love with it), but this class has given me a very great, intense dislike for mathematical proofs (see photo to the left) and all this theory business. I miss when math was about numbers. 1+1=2? Heck yeah! Haha. I even miss Calculus, PreCalc, & Algebra II: first derivatives, second derivatives, integrals, polynomial long division, bring it on! Oh, high school.

I remember when imaginary numbers were introduced, and we were all like, um, weird, but okay, I can deal with this. Now I'm in college and the numbers (real ones, not even the imaginary) have been replaced with letters and greek letters with subscripts and superscripts, oh my!

Despite this, I have still managed to enjoy my college math experiences, if only for the wonderful professors and classmates here at St. Mary's. (Today was our Pi Day Pie Eating Contest and it was great fun! Alex's velociraptor warm-up, Dave's attacking his pie (to the floor!) like a madman, Adam's chocolate beard.. fun times, hilarious people.) Even though the work can be exhausting, torturous, and self-esteem reducing, we endure it together. Haha, how cheesy. "It kind of sucks, but we have each other." :) It's true, though. We bounce ideas off each other, feel a little less dumb when we struggle together rather than alone, and laugh together despite the hard work. 

So, in future years, when I look back on my math experiences, I'll remember my awesome Pre-Calc and Calculus teachers in high school like I do now. I remember how crazy hard it was starting Calc BC without having taken AB first, but how gratifying it was when I finally did understand what was being taught. I'll remember how my very first college math class almost completely discouraged me from being a Math major, but I gave it another chance..and I'm glad I did. I'll remember the wonderful people that decision allowed me to meet. I'll remember how mind-racking and exhausting college math problems were, but with that I'll remember the classmates I worked with on the hw, playing with beads to work through knot theory, eating popcorn/cookies provided by Katie, and laughing at our crazy silly professors. I'll remember sitting at my desk like I am now for hours at a time, looking at my problems and trying any number of methods I could think of to prove what I need to, but walking away for the night feeling drained and hopeless, with nothing to show for my effort. I just have to keep reminding myself that in the bigger picture, one problem, one hw, one test, is not going to matter, as long as I do my best. Despite all of those exhaustive hours spent ransacking my brain for a solution through everything, and all the frustration to be had when no solution was found, Math has remained my favorite subject. It doesn't always make sense, but when it does, it's quite beautiful. :) It's a slightly complicated, bittersweet relationship we have.